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WE KNEW, BUT WE DIDN'T KNOW

 

CHAPTER FOUR

 

Kathy had not fallen asleep during my narrative. She let me wind down without interrupting me once, and when I had finished, she asked me no questions. But she looked extraordinarily alert and engaged. Then she announced, “Sophie, suddenly I feel incredibly hungry. Can you run down to the cafeteria and fetch me a couple of muffins? Blueberry or banana, anything but raisin bran.”

Truth be told, I felt extremely uneasy in the cafeteria, as though the staff were outraged that I should be allowed to use the same food facility as them. Maybe they weren’t thinking that at all. Maybe people looked at me a little too hard because of my bright and rather pretty face. Perhaps it was my clothes. Ever since I was allowed to wear personal clothes and not a uniform, I know that I went overboard with textures, lengths and colours. I avoided drab shades; they reminded me too much of Ingersoll. My favourite combinations were pink, green and gold and I enjoyed a blend of unlikely fabrics: suede with tulle, silk with velvet. Of course, my articles of clothing all came from thrift shops, but I was a natural at sewing and a day didn’t go by that I wasn’t at my machine, combining remnants and concocting a wardrobe that matched my aesthetics, asymmetrical and eccentric as they were.

There were other carers milling around in the cafeteria. It pains me to admit that we could always be differentiated from the others. It was in the way we moved, stiffly, uncertainly. Our body language screamed of hesitation and trepidation. But there was also something underpinning that. A kind of stifled defiance. I have never seen a graceful clone. Now that would have been a brilliant experiment: to use a ballerina as a model. I wonder if that’s ever been done and the results studied.

By the time I was back in Kathy’s room, she had dozed off. I set a cranberry-orange and a cinnamon-apple muffin down on her tray. It struck me at that precise moment that I really wanted to buy her a gift, an extravagant gift, but it had to be something that she found wonderful. And that’s when I noticed how pretty her hands were. I don’t know why long, slender fingers are so beautiful, but they are. I’ll wager everyone agrees. It’s simply one of the very few things I’m sure of. At any rate, admiring Kathy’s beautiful hands got me to thinking that I wanted to buy her a ring, a ring with a gemstone. It couldn’t be a birthstone because clones didn’t have those, but I decided that I could find something that matched her eyes. I had never set foot into a jewelry shop, but I was determined to do so. And I had no time to waste because it didn’t look as though Kathy was long for this world. I had a good spatial eye, so even though I didn’t know the ring sizes for my own fingers, never having owned a ring, it was evident that Kathy’s fingers were thinner than mine. I felt confident that finding the right ring could be done, but how would I be served? Would my patronage be rebuffed?

Kathy stirred, shifted to her left side, moaned softly and fell back to sleep. I decided to begin my quest without further delay. When she awoke, she could amuse herself with the fragrant muffins. And I wouldn’t be long. My scouting began inside a dingy little shop just a few blocks from Kathy’s recovery facility. It was situated in a peculiar little lane that consisted of ramshackle residential buildings on one side and derelict-looking shops on the other. The most unusual aspect of this passageway, however, was the mixed clientele: regulars and clones. I’d been to a thrift shop on Crinoline Lane as number of times, and I was confident that the other shops near it also accepted clone customers. The apartments were inhabited by down-and-out regulars, who never gave me a second glance. I liked that. I had noticed a jewellery store three doors to the left of the thrift shop. The displays in the window weren’t particularly appealing, but I felt certain that I could afford to make a purchase from that store. Funnily, it was named GoldFinger’s, all one word with an upper case G and F.

 



The sign itself was eye-catching, but the merchandise in the window looked dusty and dull. That shop had been in existence at least as long as I’d been a carer, and who knows how much longer. I would have loved to live on Crinoline Lane. Even though the buildings were in an advanced state of disrepair, the architecture was graceful and you could see that the lane had once been elegant. It seemed secretive, but not in a hostile way.

 

I walked briskly while trying to appear unhurried. I didn’t want to draw any attention to myself inasmuch as I was operating outside of the rule book. I didn’t know if carers were allowed to buy presents for donors; as far as I knew, it hadn’t been done. At least, I didn’t know anyone who had done it.

The door of GoldFinger’s was partially opened, which seemed strange for a jewellery store. “Good morning, love,” A heavyset somewhat elderly woman greeted me warmly from behind the counter. She had a foreign accent, a European accent, but I couldn’t place it beyond that. She was standing next to an old man, who I assumed to be her husband. He had very rosy cheeks and bright blue eyes.

“I’m looking for a ring,” I blurted. “It’s not for me; it’s for a friend. And I don’t think I can afford gold, so it’ll have to be silver. And I’d like a blue stone, but not glass. Something real if possible. A real gemstone.”

“I find,” the elderly jeweler said, “That’s better to mix and match when you want something special. First, we find a good setting and then we find the perfect stone for it. But I have some pretty estate-sale settings that have been waiting in a box. And a few of them are gold, 10k gold. I think we can agree on a price. What size ring are you looking for?”

"I have no idea. I don’t know anything about rings. If you show me a sizing chart, though, I’m sure I can tell you how much smaller her fingers are than mine.” The jeweler rummaged inside a drawer below the counter and produced a big metal ring with over twenty smaller rings attached to it. “This is a ring sizer, our starting point. Which finger, right hand yes?”

“Middle finger on the right hand, please.”

In the meantime, the woman had disappeared behind a colourful brocade curtain, and she asked, “Is it time for tea, Mr. Gold?”

“Yes, Mrs. Gold.”

I smiled. The jeweller’s name was Gold. That amused me. I don’t know what possessed me, but I asked Mr. Gold a very personal question. “What’s it like working with your wife? I mean, very few couples spend so much time together.”

Mr. Gold laughed. “She’s not my wife; she’s my sister. This is an old family business. Our father did this work in Berlin. When Hannah and I immigrated to England, we decided to resurrect the family tradition. From my long experience, I can say that no one will ever understand you as well as your original family members. Everyone else is like a stranger by comparison. So your size, dear, is O. That’s quite standard. This ring here measures M.”

The ring that Mr. Gold indicated seemed barely smaller than the one encircling my finger. “Hmmm. I think maybe it should be smaller than that. Her fingers are really thin.”

“What about this one?” The ring he showed me looked about right.

“Yes, yes. I think that one would work.”

“Good. That’s a K. Of course, I can always size it up, but let’s hope that won’t be necessary. Let me show you what I have. A moment, please.”

Mr. Gold and his sister switched places. She set down a large silver tray on the counter. Her hands were very large and she had rings on six fingers. Each stone was a different colour, but one stone caught my attention. It was pale, but there was a pink-amber fire inside of it. It was extraordinary. “What’s that?” I gasped, almost touching the burning stone.

“This? This is an Australian opal. It’s a birthstone for October. Wearing your birthstone is supposed to bring you good luck.”

“I’m not looking for a birthstone, Mrs. Gold.”

“I know that, dear. Have a biscuit. Home-baked. Ginger-lemon. How do you take your tea, love?”

“No milk, no sugar. Thank you.”Mrs.Gold began pouring the tea into a beautiful blue cup decorated with gold and lavender flowers. Each cop was the same size, and was coloured and patterned differently. Mine had the gold and lavender lilacs, another had pink and yellow roses and the third had red and cream hollyhocks. I found them enchanting.

“Sorry about the chips and cracks. At our age, we have no motivation to buy new things. We make do with the old.”

“Oh, I think these cups are beautiful. At home, all I have are clunky utilitarian-looking mugs in beige and brown. “I bit into one of Mrs. Gold’s biscuits, which was still warm. I tasted the ginger and lemon, but also cinnamon and brown sugar and sweet butter. I had never tasted anything quite so delicious. I felt like crying.

Mr. Gold returned carrying two wooden boxes, one on top of the other. He set them down on the countertop side by side and opened them both. One contained rings and a metal stick, the other multi-coloured small velvet pouches which I assumed held gemstones. He fished out several rings with the metal stick and lay them down on a piece of black velvet which his sister had brought out from a drawer. He poked and prodded the rings for a moment or two until he found one that seemed to please him more than the others. “Yes, this one. It’s not quite as I remembered it, but it’s a really fine item. What do you think? Pick it up. Study it. Tell me what you think. It was a simple-looking gold ring; the band was neither thick nor thin and the colour looked rich and old. I liked it.

“I think it’s elegant. I like this gold. It’s not too shiny. But look, one of the claws is broken.”

“Indeed. Don’t worry about that. I will put in new prongs, four in total. Your ring will be safe and sound. Now miss, choose a stone, please. I have two different kinds of blue stones: aquamarine and topaz, but with the gold, you might find another colour is more striking. I think a blue stone looks good with silver. A cool effect. Gold looks nice with a warm stone, a garnet maybe, or a dark pink tourmaline.”

My eyes agreed with Mr. Gold’s words. He had tumbled first a few blue stones onto the black cloth, and even the darkest one looked somehow insipid next to the gold setting. Then he delicately removed two stones from a particularly tiny white velvet pouch. The first was a blood red, and the second a deep pink. “Garnet.” Mr. Gold pointed at the red stone with his metal stick. “Rubellite tourmaline.” He pointed at the pinker stone. “Let’s see which one is a more perfect fit.”

His pudgy fingers were remarkably nimble as he placed the garnet into the empty space. The effect was spectacular. “Perfect,” he acknowledged, nodding his head. His sister concurred. “A perfect match, in shape, size and colour. It looks like an heirloom, Franz, doesn’t it”?

“What do you think, Missy?” Mr. Gold’s merry blue eyes looked like gemstones themselves.

“I think I can’t possibly afford this.”

“We’ll see about that. We’ll see. Let’s try the rubellite now.”

The pink stone also looked wonderful nestled snugly inside. I couldn’t decide which one. An odd question popped into my mind: blood or roses?

I began to feel sweetly sleepy. The tea tasted faintly like peanut butter, the shop was overheated and dusty, the aroma of biscuits was mouthwatering, Mr. and Mrs. Gold were gracious and old-worldly. Combined, these conditions made me feel safe for the first time in my life.

I chose the garnet for its heirloom quality. Both the Golds seemed pleased with my choice, but I needed to know the price. I had over 300 £ saved up and I was willing to spend most of it on the gift if necessary.

“So, how much will it cost?”

It was Hannah Gold who answered promptly, “One-hundred £, but we can do a layaway if you like. Is that all right?”

“Yes, that’s fine, but I don’t have any money on me for a deposit. I can return tomorrow with the entire amount.”

“Missy,” Mr. Gold shook his head gently, “that won’t be necessary. I can have the ring set for you by Friday, and you can pick it up whenever it’s convenient. And don’t worry if it doesn’t fit your friend. We can resize it for free. And if she doesn’t like it, we can give you a full refund.”

I should have been suspicious. Why were they being so nice to me? They knew nothing about me. I blurted, “Mr. Gold, you know what I am, don’t you?”

It was Hannah Gold who answered, “Yes, of course, my dear. We know who you are. Oh, not your name of course. But the rest of it—we know. And we don’t care. No, that’s not true. We do care, but not in the way that you think. Here’s our card. You can ring us up when you wish to return.”

 And so I left the shop feeling dizzy with pleasure and hope. I felt like a girl, a beautiful girl who’d just stepped inside a fairy tale. Mrs. Gold was my fairy godmother, and the evil sentence was about to be dispelled.

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